


Lead Me Out of The Dark

by Kayla6196



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anorexia, Bully Zayn, Bullying, Cutting, Drug Use, Eating Disorders, LATER, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Self Harm, Smut, Suicide Attempt, that's about it idk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-05
Updated: 2013-11-19
Packaged: 2017-12-31 13:14:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1032109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kayla6196/pseuds/Kayla6196
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is slowly crumbling and Harry is the glue that puts the pieces back together again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever chaptered FIC and I'm extremely excited to be posting it! 
> 
> Let me know what you think and if I should continue! Kudos and comments are wonderful and greatly appreciated! 
> 
> Enjoy! 
> 
> -Kayla .x

Louis stared intently at the small sharp razor that was laying on the counter in front of him. He quickly turned the lock on the door, making sure nobody could get in even though he was home alone, and grabbed a bandage out of the cabinet next to the shower. He picked up the shiny metal and gently placed it against the scarred skin. Before he could think about it, he was dragging the razor across his skin with a little pressure. Small lines appeared on his skin letting small amounts of blood trickle out and run on his arm. He continued one after another until he dropped the razor from his hand letting it clang against the floor. His mind was racing as he watched the bright red liquid drip down his arm. Louis knew that he shouldn't cut, but he couldn't stop. It had become a mental and physical addiction, it was almost routine, come home throw up, cut, and repeat. He grabbed the bandage and placed it over the cuts before wiping up the small droplets of blood with a tissue, he dropped the tissue into the toilet and quickly flushed it before disposing of the razor making sure it wasn't visible. 

This is Louis' life, an 18 year old boy with a wonderful life ahead of him, but he's choosing to ruin it because he doesn't feel worthy enough for life. Louis' thoughts were nothing but negative. He couldn't remember a time when he looked in the mirror and was satisfied with the image in front if him. He was disgusted by his own appearance, he believed he was ugly, fat, worthless and so many other things. 

He walked himself to his room after making sure that the bathroom looked exactly like it did before he was in there. Pulling out a small book from his bedside table and sitting down on his bed ,he began to write. 

'I did it again. It's been three years and I can't stop. It's become habitual, if I don't do it, I feel nothing. I'm numb, but when I do it, it shows me I'm still alive. Pain is my favorite emotion, it shows me there's an outcome for the way I am. That I'm being punished for the way I am. The pain I inflict on myself is me punishing myself, and maybe one time it'll be enough. I don't deserve to live, I'm just a worthless fag as everyone says. But, they're right I am a worthless fag. Nobody wants me, nobody even tries to talk to me or befriend me, not even wave to me. Maybe they're all right I'm better off dead, it wouldn't effect their lives in anyway. Just maybe, but not yet. I want to, I really do, but I need a good plan, I've been thinking of a few. Hopefully it'll be as painless as possible.' 

Louis placed the small book back down into the nightstand and covered it with a shirt and a necklace so that nobody would find it. He swallowed deeply and sighed before standing up and walking to his closet. He pulled out a pair of red and white pajama bottoms and an old sweatshirt. He slipped out of his current outfit before standing in his boxers and staring down at his stomach and thighs. 

"Why must I be such a fat ass?" He spoke harshly which pulling on the extra fat he felt on his stomach. "No matter how much I don't eat or how much I throw up it doesn't disappear. I continue gaining weight" He scuffs in disgust at himself before pulling on his pajamas followed by his sweatshirt. 

Without a word he walks himself to the bathroom once again, making sure nobodies home and locks the door. He's barely eaten today but his stomach isn't settled, he feels uneasy and begins to kneel down. Rolling up the sleeve on his sweatshirt a little, he places a finger into his mouth and begins pushing it further back. He doesn't have to put it too far anymore, he's gotten good at making himself throw up. He holds it there for about three seconds and then he feels the vomit making its way up his throat, quickly removing his finger he places his hands on the seat. A seconds passes before the vomit is exiting Louis' body. He isn't throwing up food, it's just stomach acid. The burning sensation has become more natural so he doesn't mind it too much. He repeats the process two more times before feeling empty and satisfied with himself. Flushing the toilet he stands up and walks to the sink and begins brushing his teeth. 

The rest of the night passes with ease, Louis spends the rest of the night laying on his bed staring at the ceiling imagining everyone's life if he wasn't here, he finds it completely normal no matter how sick anyone else would see this. He sees an image that everyone would be happier without him, he's a burden on them just by making a presence in their lives. He imagines how his mother and father would get back together and live happily with one another because his father wouldn't have to deal with having a faggot as a son. That's why he had left the first time, he was bothered by the fact that Louis was gay, he hated him for it. 

He felt himself slowly drifting off to sleep his thoughts wandering away with consciousness. 

 

—-—-—

-nc-

Louis felt himself jolt awake to the sound of a truck outside of his window. His body felt heavy and his eyes didn't want to open but he managed to stand up and walk towards the window. He squinted his eyes to see what the truck had painted on the side "Smith's movers". He walked away from the window and moved over to his closet. Softly wiping the sleep out of his eyes he began scanning the items that filled the rack. His clothes weren't the most fashionable, but they weren't the least. He decided on a pair of chinos, he preferred them because they were baggy and people couldn't see his fat as much in them. After pulling off his pajamas and replacing them with the chinos, he grabbed a roomy tank top and pulled it over his head letting it hang on his body. He quickly grabbed the sweatshirt he had worn to bed the night before and put it back onto his body. "Fuck it." He muttered before sliding on a pair of converse and walking out of his room and into the bathroom. 

He patted his hair down softly because he didn't bother combing out the fringe. He tried not to look at his reflection for too long because he hated having the urge to self harm at school or in the morning. He opened the cabinet and began brushing his teeth, humming a song he used to sing with his mum all of the time as a child. His mind took control and he started thinking back to all of the wonderful memories he had as a child. He felt his body tense up before he removed the tooth brush and spit into the sink. Not even bothering to rinse, he tossed the toothbrush onto the counter and walked out. 

He slipped out of the door unnoticed, like normal. He rarely ever saw his mother in the morning. She didn't bother to ask where he was or to even text him asking. She didn't give a fuck about him. 

His walk to school was peaceful, all Louis heard was the sound of the music flowing through his headphones, he walked to the beat of the song and when he reached the school, he ripped the headphones out of his ears and tossed the iPod into his bag. 

"Welcome to another day of torture." He muttered lowly to himself and sighed deeply. 

He found the day passing by faster than he believed it would, the bell rang signaling that class was over for a lunch break, he grabbed his things and placed them carelessly into his bag before flinging it over his shoulder and walking towards the cafeteria. 

Louis found himself wandering away from the crowded room having ate only an apple. He felt his stomach become uneasy as he was eating but he forced himself to finish half of it. 

"Just got to reach the door" he kept repeating this to himself while making a bee line for the exit of the school. 

Louis was allowed to leave after Lunch because he had a study hall class, perks of having lunch at the end of the day. He had managed to avoid his personal bully all day, all he had to do was make it out of the door and he was home free, but fate had other plans. 

"Hey, faggot! Where do you think you're going?" A deep voice spit out before Louis felt himself cursing under his breath. 

"I said where do you think you're going?" Louis felt his breath become staggered and his body began to shake. 

"N-nowhere I just," the boy walked closer to Louis and before Louis could think he felt a fist connecting with his face. 

A sharp pain shot through his cheek and he could hear the boys shouting at him. 

"Fuck him up, Zayn," "the little fag deserves it," "maybe if you hit him hard enough, you'll beat the gay out of him,"

Zayn was Louis' personally bully. He made it his business to make Louis miserable and wish he were never born. Louis hated Zayn with a burning passion but he never did anything about it. 

He was snapped from his thought when he felt Zayn hit him directly in the side of his nose, within an instance he felt warm liquid start dripping down his face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> self harm warning for this chapter.

Louis instinctively brought his hand to his nose and held it tightly. "Maybe you should just save everyone the pain of seeing you and kill yourself." Zayn spat out before literally spitting at Louis. 

The trio walked away satisfied with their destruction and left Louis laying on the ground moaning in pain. He laid there for what felt like an eternity before he felt a hand tap his shoulder lightly.   
"Mate, you okay?" The voice was deep and husky but nonetheless concerned "You don't look good, lemme help you up." He offered before extending a hand to Louis. 

Louis felt his vision coming back and he could see the boys face, he had soft curls that looked like they were styled up into a quiff. He had bright emerald green eyes and full pink lips. Louis' breath caught in his throat in amazement at the boys beauty. He was ripped from his thoughts by a large hand waving in front of his face. 

"I'm fine." Louis huffed before pulling his aching body off of the floor and holding one hand to his nose. 

He walked passed the boy and straight out of the school doors, the other boy just stood there in shock, unable to believe the encounter he'd just had. His mind was clouded with questions and possibilities as to why the boy stormed off like that. He brushed it off of his shoulder and caught back up with his mother who was talking to the principal of the school. 

Louis walked furiously down his street towards his house and saw that his mother's car was not in the drive way. "What a surprise" he spoke quietly to himself. He walked up to the front door and could feel his small lunch building up in his throat. Opening the door, he walked up the stairs and tossed his sneakers into his room before walking into the bathroom and locking the door behind him.

He leaned over the toilet and before he knew it the contents of his stomach were emptying into the toilet, he closed his eyes not wanting to see. He didn't even have to force himself to throw up that time. He rested for a minute before putting one finger into his mouth and pushing it back into his throat. He felt his gag reflex go off and he removed his finger, allowing his stomach empty out even more once again. He repeated the process and on the final time he closed his eyes feeling a burning sensation in the back of his throat. He opened his eyes seeing a few small specks of red in the toilet. He swallowed deeply through the pain and felt himself become satisfied with the empty feeling. He stood up carefully and flushed the toilet before closing the lid and sitting down on it. He smiled to himself, proud of his pain. Grabbing the razor he'd brought into the bathroom, he rolled up his sleeve and began to run the cool, shiny metal across his porcelain like skin. He let the skin break in between the knife, letting out a small hiss in reaction to the sudden sting. He watched carefully as spots of red started dripping out, he looked at his scars from yesterday seeing that they were still red but becoming a little faint. Continuing his work, he moved the razor up his arm and continuing slicing horizontally. When he was satisfied he disposed of the razor and re bandaged his arm. Rolling down the sleeve of his sweater he made sure everything was cleaned up. He finally walked to the mirror and looked at his nose, seeing the blood had begun drying, he wiped it softly with a rag and tossed the rag into the trash as well. It wasn't broken, just a bit swollen. 

Taking one last glance, he opened the door and walked out silently making his way to his bedroom. 

Louis laid there for what felt like hours just dozing. He was awoken abruptly by the sound of the doorbell going off, he waited a few seconds seeing if anyone else would answer, when he heard the doorbell again, he decided to go open the door. 

"Nobody's fucking home again," he muttered angrily to himself while walking down the stairs. 

When he reached the bottom of the steps he heard the bell begin to go off again. 

"Hold on, shit." He spit while opened the door slowly, he was met with sparkling green eyes that he remembered from earlier. 

"Oh, hey," the boy spoke casually "I see your nose is better, that's good." Louis felt himself scuff and watched as the boy held out his hand. 

"I'm Harry, by the way," he continued holding his hand out and smiling politely, which Louis chose to ignore. "Just moved in today." He said while pointing to the house across the street. 

The boys hand dropped back to his side as he smiled awkwardly. "I'll just be heading back, it was nice to meet you." Louis felt sorry for the boy, he would soon come to learn that Louis wasn't worth trying to be nice to, he wasn't worthy of happiness. 

Louis slowly shut the door watching the boy walk back to his home, once he reached his door Louis shut his and walked up the stairs. Walking into his room he began cursing at himself for allowing the boy to be nice to him. It's only giving him false hope that he has self worth. 

When Louis woke the next morning he groaned to himself at the annoying ringing of his phone. Quickly growing agitated by the noise, he grabbed the phone and pressed 'accept' before mumbling a small "what" into the phone. 

"Mhm," it was his mother, she was rarely ever home, she was always gone when he woke and didn't come back until after he was asleep, she rarely ever called to check up on him either. "Yeah," he felt himself becoming bothered by the conversation. "Okay, bye, mum." He spoke in a rushed tone and hung up before she could say another word. 

Tossing his phone on to the side of the bed, he stood up and walked lazily to his closet. He grabbed the door knob and felt the cool touch against his warm skin, the same feeling that he had become accustomed to when he would cut. Pushing the thought from his head, he shuffled through the items that filled the small space and picked out a pair of navy blue chinos, a plain white shirt and the same pair of converse from yesterday. He quickly began stripping his body down of the previous days clothes before replacing them with the new clothes he had picked out. He didn't even bother taking a glance out of the window, he didn't want to see the curly headed boy who lives across the road. He picked up the pile of soiled clothes and tossed them into the hamper in the corner of his room before walking back to the small closet and grabbed a grey sweater which read jack wills across the front and feverishly wrapping it around his pudgy torso. He put in one arm at a time and zipping it up slightly past the middle of his chest. 

Sighing, he walked out of his room and into the bathroom. He caught a glimpse of his reflection before opening the mirror and grabbing his toothbrush and the tube of toothpaste. After he's finished brushing his teeth he rinses the toothbrush and places it back into its place and walks out of the bathroom silently. Louis does the best he can to avoid seeing his own reflection for the simple fact that he knows he's disgusting, he knows that's he's clearly unattractive and unappealing to the eye. He can't stand looking at himself or seeing his reflection, he actually pities people because they have to put up with looking at him. 

His walk to school was silent, not even the sound of music softly pouring from his headphones. He didn't even bother listening to music because it would just make him feel like shit. He found himself walking through the front doors of hell itself, faces passing him without a second glance. Eyes rolling around him and scuffs being made from his peers caught his attention, he felt his chest get heavy and knew they were directed towards him. He kept his head down low only peeking up to make sure he is heading for the right room, he eyes caught hold of a tall, slim, and tanned figure. Immediately recognizing it as Zayn, he prepares for the worst. As he closes his eyes tightly, his limbs go weak and stop moving. 

"Tomlinson," he hears one of Zayn's minions yell, his name was Josh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are very happily appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda short but wanted to get it up okay well enjoy! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!

Josh was always friends with Zayn, ever since primary school. The two were inseparable, Louis only knew this because growing up the three were in most classes together, for years Louis longed to become friends with Zayn and Josh. In the beginning Louis thought the bullying was just playful, he hoped this meant that they were becoming friends, five years later, he's here, and has learned his naïve thirteen year old self was sadly mistaken. 

"Look at him, not even putting up a fight," the other boy, Niall spoke while the trio walked closer to the cowering boy. "He knows he's going to get what he deserves." 

Niall was adopted into the group by Zayn a few years back, he seemed like a genuinely nice kid before he became aquatinted with the two boys. He was an exchange student from Ireland, his family ultimately decided to move to Doncaster because Niall was doing good at the school and there was a job opening for both his parents. 

The students began dispersing their proper classrooms as the trio starts cornering Louis, his body slowly gravitating towards the lockers and before he knew it he was standing straight up against the hard metal with three boys surrounding him with their eyes trailing over their marks left on the helpless boy from yesterday. 

Zayn flicked Louis' nose roughly before laughing at the wince of pain that spread across Louis' face. Josh and Niall grabbed one of Louis' arms each and held him firmly against the lockers before Zayn walked closer to Louis and pulled his arm back and sent it crashing into Louis' stomach with intensity that sent Louis' body hard against the metal. His face scrunched up as his body tried to fold over in pain but Niall and Josh weren't letting that happen. The two boys tightened their grip on his arms which only caused more pain to shoot through Louis' body because of the pressure being applied to the recent cuts. He grits his teeth dealing with the pain the only way he could. 

Four heads snapped to the side at the sound of a door slamming. Zayn turned back to Louis and smirked, "Let him go, the faggots not worth it." Louis swallows a lump in his throat and feels the grip on his arms loosen. 

"Fucking cunt." He hears Niall mutter as he's walking away from Louis whose now leaning against the lockers using all of his power to stand up. 

He watched the three boys walk away while they whispered to one another about God knows what. He felt his legs moving without any knowledge of where he was actually going, he found himself entering the bathroom near his classroom. He walked over to the sink and placed his hands on either side letting his body hunch over. Taking deep breathes he looked up into the mirror and scuffed disgustingly at himself. He slams his fists roughly against the hard sink before storming out of the bathroom and walking towards his first class. He walks in quietly letting his nerves get the best of him once again. His teacher looks up at him and purses her lips, "Louis, why're you so late?" 

He breathed in heavily and sighed, "Bathroom, sorry, won't happen again." His voice was low and shaky, and with that he rushed past and into his assigned seat on the opposite end of the class. 

The rest of the day passed by insanely slow, it was a blur of faces without a name and boring classes he could honestly care less about. When he hears the final bell of the day, he races out of the class room carelessly throwing his books into his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. His walk home was as quiet as his walk to school. He reaches his house and doesn't see any sign of Harry being around, he was glad he didn't have to deal with him again today. Once he reached his room he could feel himself being pulled to his journal. He opened it to a new page and pulled out a pen and began to write. 

'Today was shit, Zayn and his gang beat me up again. Everyday's the same, go to school, get beat up by Zayn, and come home. I have no purpose, I'm just a sad, pathetic excuse for a person. 

I've barely eaten anything today, just a few slices of an orange and a cracker. I like the empty feeling, I feel safe, like I'm finally doing something right. I'm making the weight come off, but no matter how little I eat, I seem to gain weight. 

I really want to cut but my arms are so sore for Niall and Josh. It wouldn't accomplish anything to cut, I've been through a lot of pain today. 

I want to smile, I want to be happy like everyone else. But I don't deserve it, I don't deserve happiness and I don't deserve this life. I'm honestly contemplating committing soon. It won't make a difference in anyone's life. The sun will still rise, the stars will still shine, the wind will still blow if I'm not here, so why not? Why not end my misery and just let the burden on Louis Tomlinson be taken away from everybody. 

Soon. It'll be soon. I promise.'


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another update on the smaller side bc I'm trying to update this almost everyday! But finally some one and one interaction between the boys! 
> 
> I don't want to be pushy or annoying about feedback but it just really motivates me, that's all! 
> 
> Nonetheless, enjoy!

It had officially been two weeks since Harry knocked on Louis' door, he's done his best to avoid him. They've only made eye contact twice, both times when Louis was walking home. He had managed to avoid talking Harry in school despite the two sharing two classes together. Whenever Harry would walk into the room, Louis would put his head down before Harry had the chance to say anything to him. Then again Harry didn't make the biggest effort either, or at least that's how it seemed. 

Louis found himself walking up the stairs and heading into the bathroom after another day of Zayn's bullying. This was the third time this week that Louis went up and cut himself. He drug the sharp blade against his soft warm skin six times before he saw the blood trickling from the thin cuts and he felt himself becoming a bit dizzy. He wanted to keep going, keep going until he passed out and hopefully just hopefully he wouldn't wake up. 

He cleaned himself up and double checked to make sure there was no trace of what he had just done before he walked over to the toilet and kneeled down in front of it. He held the sides of the toilet before pushing one of his fingers down his throat so it'll reach the back of his throat, as soon as he hits the back he feels the food making its way back up. Removing his finger he vomits, he repeats the process a few more times until he can't make anything else come up. He stands up and flushes the toilet and walks to his bedroom. 

He lays down on his bed and stares at the ceiling feeling satisfied with himself. He let his body become intoxicated with sleep as his body slowly fell unconscious. 

His eyes softly flutter open and be instinctively feels his arms stretch up above his head as he lets out a small groan at his body's movements. His vision becomes blurred by the bright sunlight radiating into his bedroom through the thin curtains. He wipes his eyes and reluctantly gets up out of bed and walks over to his small dresser on the opposite end of his room. Pulling out a pair of loose sweatpants, a pull over sweatshirt from his mums old job and a new pair of boxers he begins stripping down to his bare skin. He throws the dirty clothes on to his bed and begins reclothing his body with the clean clothes. Once he's fully dressed he walks out of his room and continues his morning routine by brushing his teeth and using the bathroom. When he finishes he brings himself downstairs to the living room and moving in one straight path he grabs the television controller and let's his body flop down on the couch.   
After scrolling through the channels for about twenty minutes he sighs reluctantly and puts on music videos. He rarely listened to music that was played on the television let alone music played on the radio. It wasn't his particular interest, he mainly listened to indie music or as some would call it "hipster shit". He lays himself down and stares at the ceiling losing track of time. He lets the sound of the music flow through his ears while his mind wanders over multiple topics, most revolving around the curly headed stranger. 

Louis doesn't know exactly why he can't stop thinking about the boy but something about him has captured his attention. He easily remembers small details about the boy only from their two short encounters. Louis remembers the soft friendly smile that plays across the boys face when he speaks. He remembers the furrow of his eyebrows at Louis when he insisted that he was okay after Zayn punched him in the nose. He remembers his breathtaking green eyes, his perfectly plump lips that were the absolute best shade of pink. He remembers the tiny curls that were slipping out from underneath his beanie. He remembers all of this which means he has to avoid him even more. He needs to make sure he doesn't get involved in Harry's life and burden him with the sad pathetic excuse of a person that he is. He can't go and fuck up Harry's life, too. Which is why he plans on avoiding the boys as much as he can. 

Louis' torn from his thoughts by the sound of his phone vibrating. The screen brightened and displayed a notification saying that he had a text message. It was from his mum. 

"You've got to be kidding me," he huffed when he finished reading the text. 

The fucking styles are coming over to visit since they're new and all, just what he needed. He throw his phone against the couch behind him and placed his elbows on his knees letting his head rest in his hands. 

"Fucking hell," he spoke his voice tainted with annoyance. "Of course she wouldn't be here to deal with them," Running his frail fingers through his messy hair he stands up slowly and walks to the window and looks out of it sneakily. "Hopefully they'll show up and leave just as quick." He sighs and begins to walk out of the living room and up to the bathroom. 

He doesn't know what he's going to accomplish but his stomach feels uneasy and he finds himself with two fingers down his throat hovering over a toilet seat. Gagging as his fingers hit the back of his throat he pulls them out and quickly feels whatever there is in his stomach making its way back up and out of him. He continued the process a few more times before he heard the doorbell buzz. He stood up flushed the toilet and feverishly brushed his teeth after shouting "hold on" loud enough for the people at the door to hear. No doubt in his mind who it was, the Styles.

He tossed the toothbrush onto the counter and made his way down the stairs, he could see a tall lanky figure outside of the door and felt his stomach flip. Reluctantly opening the door he was met by the eyes of the very boy he was planning on avoiding. 

"Oh, hey," Harry spoke kindly. "My mum told me I should come over and give you this," he motioned to the plate of cookies in his hands and smiled brightly at Louis. "Can I come in?" He asked with a hint of nerves in his voice. 

Louis swallowed a growing lump in his throat and moved to the side leaving Harry an open space to walk and motioning for him to come in by putting one arm out. Harry walked in and past Louis only to stop in his place. 

Oh yeah, he didn't know where the kitchen is, Louis, you're an idiot. Louis silently insulted himself before nodding at Harry. "Kitchens this way," He felt himself walking to the kitchen and listening for the footsteps of the boy to follow him. "You can just set them down, my mum will love them." 

Harry's eyes dropped to the floor and he mumbled lowly. "Oh, okay." Louis heard him but decided to ignore him, he wasn't going to let himself be sucked in and ruin his life.

Harry's eyes scanned up Louis' body and reached his face and a small smile appeared on his face. "I'm glad to see your nose is better," Louis felt his heart jump at Harry's words. "I figured it was broken, but I guess not." Harry examined the smaller boys face making sure there wasn't anymore marks anywhere. 

"Nope, it's not." Louis speaks and feels a small smile creeping on to his face, quickly he snaps back to reality and the faintest smile he's had in years has disappeared. 

Harry notices the change in Louis' face but doesn't make an effort to discuss it, he simply grabs a cookie off of the plate and takes a bite out of it. Louis can tell he enjoys the cookies and he finds himself watching the boy intently. "You want one, Louis?" He asks politely while grabbing another cookie off of the plate for Louis. "They're really good, I promise." Louis watches Harry's movements and the corners of his lips twitch up into a small smile while holding the cookie out for Louis. 

"Um," Louis begins staring at the cookie debuting whether he wants to eat it and then end up throwing it up later or declining. "I," he can't say no to the beaming boy in front of him. "Thanks, Harry." He reluctantly grabs the cookie and takes a small bite out of it. 

The two sit in silence while eating, Harry finishes his cookie before Louis. Louis nibbles on the cookie while sneakily watching Harry pull out his phone and begin scrolling through his Instagram. It was a blur of teenagers making duck faces or celebrities posting their photos from a party or event. He wasn't surprised to say the least. Peeling his eyes away from the boys phone he pretends to drop the half eaten cookie on the floor so he doesn't have to finish it. 

"Oh shit," he says in reaction to the falling dessert before kneeling down on the floor and beginning to pick up the small pieces. 

"I'll help you." Harry offers kneeling down on the floor next to Louis and starts grabbing the pieces of the cookie that Louis hasn't picked up. 

Louis doesn't react to Harry or his offering and just continues to clean up the mess. Both boys stand up and toss the soiled food into the trash can. When they finish picking up the mess Louis feels a little guilty about dropping his food intentionally but the feels quickly lost because of the nauseous feeling building up in his stomach. 

"I'm sorry that you food fell, Louis, feel free to have another, I won't tell your mum." Louis watches Harry in quick movements flicking his eyes from the floor to Harry's mouth.

**Author's Note:**

> If you've made it this far thank you so much! I appreciate you taking your time to read this! Kudos and comments are appreciated! Thank you! I love you all!


End file.
